Initiations, Memberships, and Other Games That People Play

Once upon a time, at about the age of ten, I thought that being a member of a secret magical society would be a grand thing indeed. I knew of such things then, but little actually about them. It was the mystery and my child's ego which found fascination in the idea of being a member of something which not just anyone had access to.

Many years passed, and my magickal knowledge and experience grew with my maturity. I learned about initiations and degree systems, even participated in more than one, and as an adult practising magic with other adults, observed an attitude in some of those other adults which very closely resembled my childhood fascination for membership and degrees. I had observed a social structure, a basic need for people to "belong" to something and in some cases, to achieve reognition within their chosen social structure.

This was all very fascinating from a sociological point of view, but a bit disheartening in other ways. It seemed that many people, deemed by their "degrees" to be the great and wise among occult groups, were all too frequently rather ordinary people who had managed to achieve their goal, the degree. This is not to say that nobody who attains a high degree within a system might have got it through hard work and personal transformation, but all too often, it appears (in my observations) that the degree ranking itself has been the goal rather than the personal transformation which is supposed to be involved.

This all sounds rather cynical. Who am I to judge the spirituality or magical ability of others? Well, no one really. I simply observe these things because I have been through the usual thought processes that most occultists go through at some point in their growth where they try to define themsleves. It is my own attempts to define my magical goals which have led me to examine existing groups of all sorts and the potential purpose of joining one, The end result of the process is that I think of myself as a solo Chaos Magician. The reason behind that is that I find myself uninterested in artificial hierarhchies or dogmatic rules about how I should conduct my rituals. I have matured a bit since the age of ten.

Explaining this in this way may well piss off a lot of people. My words could easily be interepreted in such a way that many would think I have just dismissed the efforts of all magic users who belong to any sort of system. Not so. These systems do serve a purpose, and I certainly recognize the value of them. Like anyone, I am drawn to the possibility of aligning myself with like-minded people and continue to look into any new groups or systems that come along. That is why I once aligned myself with the Z(Cluster). It seemed that I had run across some of my own species. After all, it would be too pretentious to walk around saying that I am "in tune with the Zos Kia Cultus", now wouldn't it?

Meanwhile,the artificial hierarchies continue to take themselves very seriously. I once accused a woman on a bbs (those entities of cyberspace that preceded the modern internet)of waving her pompoms for her chosen ceremonial magic group. Well, that's exactly what she was doing. She was at a beginning grade and going through the "if you're not part of our group, you ain't shit" phase. And this was a grown woman! I came across a similar attitude from an American faction of a well known Chaos Magic group when I gave a passing thought to joining. It put me right off. I've been practicing magic most of my life and these people are telling me that none of it is valid until I join their group? One would think that such an attitude would stay with the Baptists and Jehovah's Witnesses where it belongs, but it is rampant in the occult world.

You see, it isn't the groups I object to. It's the attitude. I recently said to someone close to me at the time that the only thing wrong with Wicca was the Wiccans. This was based on a conversation wherein he had offered me second degree initiation and my inclination was to turn it down. The offer was sparked by some back-biting and bitchcraft among what I call (to myself) the "nouveau initiates", those who can trace their initiatory lineage back to Gerald Gardner (or Alex Saunders). The odd thing about the Gardnerians is that many of them dogmatically practice ritual by Gerald Gardner's methods and will defend those methods to the bitter end, yet will express uncomplimentary opinions about the man himself. Denigrate thy messiah but do your rituals according to His formulae. I am told that Gardner's Book of Shadows includes bits of thinking for oneself, rather like Austin Osman Spare, but the dogmatists seemed to have missed that part.

The exact same attitude is observable in some Chaos Magicians. Do it as Spare did, even if you exphixiate yourself, but always remember to think for yourself ("Yes yes" they cried to Brian in unison, "We must all think for ourselves!") Interestingly, some of the "older" witches I have met here in England who learned from systems which predate Gardner and Saunders have discussed methods with me which sound rather like Spare, who was taught by a witch of unknown origins.

In fairness, I must admit that I have accepted a first degree Gardnerian Wicca initiation here in England. This was in order to give the religion itself a chance, partly out of love for a Wiccan husband, now ex. And despite my experiences with Wicca groups in America where I encountered quite a lot of ego and control-based groups. My American degrees are not recognized by the British initiates because the origins of the initiators cannot be traced, but that is just as well as I decided long ago that it was all a meaningless sham done by people with the arrogance to think they had authority to award me validity.

Also in fairness,I must say that one valid argument has been made to me for ritual to be performed in a similar way by a recognized group, in this case the initiated Gardnerians. The idea is that the common practices give the system itself power, and that the initiates can tap into this power by practising the same basic ritual formula. This is a very valid concept which is practiced by other groups as well. Thelemites come to mind. Practicing Crowley's rituals despite various opinions of the man himself is easily comparable to this Gardnerian attitude.

Once again, the system breaks down when the system becomes dogmatized. There is no room for growth or individuality when this happens. Joining a group can mean spiritual imprisonment rather than attainment, and it becomes a vehicle for obtaining nothing more than a degree, a recognition for conformity.

It seems that human nature is the biggest enemy of human spirituality. As long as the need for companionship in our spirituality leads us into an artifical need for recognition through degree systems, we leave ourselves open to stagnation and false attainment goals. It is comparable to going to school to learn how to pass exams. Is it any wonder that the tarot trump IX, The Hermit, stands on his mountain alone?